Friday, June 21, 2019


Accepting the reality that I am a suicide survivor has been very difficult for me. And that might be the understatement of the year. There are no words to describe the grief and pain I have felt since my brother died. Each day, and a lot of times, each moment is hard to get through. As a reader, I find comfort in the written word. There is something beautiful and unique about seeing thoughts and feelings in black and white on paper. I have been trying to find distractions throughout the day, and I have stumbled across several quotes on Pinterest that I really love. They help me to know that I am not the only one who has had these feelings, and I am not alone. Grief is a lonely thing, and it is so hard to describe, but I wanted to share some of the quotes I've found. I hope they are a comfort to someone else out there as well.

Grieving the Tragic Loss of What Should Have Been - Our Side of Suicide

How does my life ...

no one can tell you when its time for your pain to be over | Grief Quotes

DON’T ask me how I'm doing Don't ask if I’m okay Don't say they're in a better place, as you won't like what I say NO .. Time is not a healer and this was NOT Gods will, If He knew how much I’ve really lost, they would be right here still. I WON’T try to be positive And this wasn't for the best My hearts in broken pieces And it hurts deep in my chest. Don't say, at least they're out of pain Well I'm not, and MAY NEVER be. Their pain is gone, but mines still here It's been passed on to me. ...

People say more than they should. Don't think you can just walk into my life the moment something tragic happens.

How To Find Peace As A Suicide Loss Survivor – Faith + Focus + Frappe

Still hurting


Suicide Awareness on Pinterest | Grief, Lyrics and Rascal Flatts

Sorry there are so many, but I couldn't decide which ones to leave out.

Monday, June 10, 2019

May Stats

Books Read:  6

Daughter of the Siren Queen (Daughter of the Pirate King, #2) Vermonia #1: Quest for the Silver Tiger Vermonia #2: Call of the Winged Panther
The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians, #1) To Kill a Mockingbird: A Graphic Novel 
Image result for i will not leave you comfortless lds 

Pages Read:  1,333

1 Star:  0
2 Stars:  1
3 Stars:  1
4 Stars:  2
5 Stars:  2

I felt like blogging today, which is a big step for me. Since my brother died, I have been having a hard time finding joy in things that I used to love. Reading has been an exception. I started reading again, and it has been a good distraction for me. I have a hard time remembering things before the worst day of my life. So I don't even remember some of these books I read at the beginning of May. At least Goodreads kept track for me. 

Goal Progress:

I am 29 books behind schedule on Goodreads. I'm surprised it isn't more. Honestly, I'm not sure if I'm going to reach any of my goals this year or if I even care. (41/160)

One of the books from May was from my nightstand. 

I didn't finish any Newbery Award Winners. I started one, but I didn't finish. I don't know when I'll pick it up again. (3/20)

Still no re-reads (0/20)

I didn't read anything for the Pioneer Book Reading Challenge. I'm not sure if I'll finish this challenge or not, but my friends are keeping me motivated. (13/44)